Take My TV Please.

For the last few weeks my house alarm company keeps calling every few days to tell me that my alarm is not communicating with them. You see, they send a signal every day to test see if the alarm is working and if someone tries to break in they will be able to send the police.

Well, I told them that there is construction going on in the area and that is probably the cause. I was not worried. I was pretty sure the alarm was working, plus I have two dogs in the house that bark and howl at any noise including the doorbell. You would think the world is coming to an end when the doorbell rings. I have seen their reaction to the alarm and trust me it is not pretty. So I was sick of going home and testing the alarm every few days. I feared going deaf every time I set it off.

So, I got another call from them yesterday. I saw *******Alarm on my caller ID and I thought, “Oh, not again.” I answered and instead of another non communication call, they said that the alarm had gone off. Here is where is get good. They asked me if I wanted them to call the police. Oh no people I will just go home and get killed by the intruder because I am 5’3′ and 110lbs and hey I can talk the intruder into not stealing my flatscreen TV.

Anyway, I told them to yes, call the police and I will leave work and go home. So, I get home and guess what? No police! I call the alarm company and tell them the police are not here and I am NOT going in the house by myself! Next I notice a police car on the next street over. There are no houses across the street yet so I can see the other street.

The police pull up and ask me if I have been in the house yet. I tell them no and tell them there are dogs in the house but they are in crates. They ask if the dogs have been barking and I say no. I am sure if someone was in the house the dogs would be barking. The police have me unlock the door and then they tell me not to open it and they have me stand back. They then draw their guns and go inside. The alarm starts beeping and after a few seconds they have me disarm it and go back outside. I can hear them going through the house and after a few minutes they come back and tell me it is clear.

The police then inform me that the reason they were not there sooner is the alarm company gave them the wrong address. They tried to call me and you guessed it. They gave them the wrong phone number and what they gave them was the wrong home number instead of my cell number. I assume that was because they thought I would be in the house bargaining with the intruder to take the small flat screen and not the big one because hey, Corvette would cry like a baby if his big flat screen was gone.

I know this is long and drawn out but the story does not stop here. The police tell me to have the alarm company check the sensors on the window that set the alarm off. A technician comes out later that evening and tells us the sensors are fine and then proceeds to tell us that it was the alarm company’s fault and that our account is mixed up with another account and it is possible our alarm did not really go off. Even though he works for them he says the people in the office are flaky and not really on their jobs. Nice. The intruder with my TV will be glad to hear that.

This does not surprise me because the few times it has gone off when we were at home it took the company a full 10 minutes to call. Que the intruder because he now has time to not only take my TV, but kill us too. Then fix a sandwich for the road.

In the words of Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice. ******* Alarm. Your Fired.

Microburst

Living here in the Desert Southwest can prove to be hazardous at times. I left work yesterday and I had to make a stop. Five minutes after I left a major storm hit. The rain was coming down in sheets and my ability to see was completely impaired. The road immediately flooded and I could feel my car sliding on the road.

I sat at a street light as the nickle-sized hail pelted down on my car. I seriously feared my windshield breaking. Especially as the light turned green and I moved forward.

I put the car in first gear and tried to see what was up ahead. I was probably only going about 20 mph and can you believe it, some people were driving like it was a normal sunny day! IDIOTS! I started shaking and decided to pull over and wait out the storm. I was traveling in the left lane and I knew I could not move over two lanes to the right as I could not see anything in front of me or behind me. So, I made my way to an intersection that lead to a Walgreens parking lot. Trust me, I was not the only one taking refuge there.

It only took about five minutes before the roughest part of the storm was over. I put my car in reverse and made my way out of the parking lot. I made it to my destination only to see the proprietors of the store standing by the door and watching the aftermath of the mayhem.

I told them about my experience and they just stared at me in disbelief. The crappy part, not one of those raindrops fell on my house.

Figures, risk my life only to not have any rain on my garden. Just my luck.

Lose the Flops!

Sometimes when I am on break at work I will see these two guys walking out of the building together. Nothing unusual about that except these two guys are always wearing flip-flops. And big baggie shorts.

They stroll out the door and disappear in the parking lot. I never see them get into a car as they just disappear. I never see them come back either. This is usually early in the day so it makes me wonder what they are doing in the building.

When they walk, they sort of do like a sashay, swinging their hips as they move. I find all this very strange. The walk, the disappearing but the most disturbing is the flip-flops.

Now it is not the actual flip-flops that bother me it is more that these guys are wearing them to a place of business. Sure where them to the beach or the park, but not to work guys. Especially when they need a good pedi.

Kind of reminds me of when some girls were wearing daisy duke shorts to work with their butt cheeks sticking out. But that is a story for another day. I cannot speak about butt cheeks and gnarly toes in the same post.

Seeking Butts and Trash Can Delicacies.

So, I was at work today and I went outside on my break. I was by myself for a few minutes. A man who works in my building walked out the door. He did not see me standing there. He then proceeded to walk over to the ashtray and what I saw next totally ruined my day. He bent over and started going through the cigarette butts and then selected one. He whipped out his lighter and LIT the butt. Egads!

Ok, I know tobacco is expensive, but you do not know whose lips was on the butt dude! So as he is puffing along, he turns and sees me standing there. Then he turns and heads towards the other side of the building. Embarrassed? I have know idea. All I know is I did not need that image in my mind.

Here is another gross out story for you since I’m on the subject. Corvette told me that there is a guy at his work that waits until everyone leaves the breakroom and then proceeds to rummage through the garbage can for food. Yes, you did read that right. Now, this guy is certainly not a homeless person, he is a machinist for crying out loud! I know he makes a pretty good living and I am sure he can afford to buy his own food. I guess it takes all kinds. Corvette said he is also overweight. Maybe it is the extra trash can calories.

Apparently, everyone at the shop knows what this guy does. One time they purposely threw out some pizza and then just sat back waiting to see what he would do. Sure enough, when he thought no one was looking he snuck in the breakroon and snagged the pizza.

Mean? Maybe, but they are a bunch of machinists with not enough to do. I guess making precision parts does not always float their boats.

Cellphones and Restrooms.

When using the restroom yesterday at work, I could not believe what I heard coming from the next stall. I walked in and proceeded to do my business when all of a sudden I hear a voice. At first I thought maybe the girl (I say girl because she works on my floor and I rode the same elevator with her to the ground floor restrooms. Which I usually use because there is more privacy. I am weird like that.) Anyway I hear her talking and suddenly I realize she is on her cellphone. Are you kidding me? Apparently not.

Now I am an avid believer in that there are several places you should not be using your cellphone.

1. The car while you are driving, for obiouse reasons
2. The grocery store when you are checking out or ordering deli meats.
3. Any public restroom. For that matter, any private restroom either.

It is bad enough that you have to listen to other people’s converstations in stores , at work and various other public places, but I draw the line in the restroom. I actually used to work in a grocery store deli and I can not tell you how many people used their cells while ordering their meat and cheese. The worst was a couple that were both on their cells taking to different people, I assume, and in between ordering, were engrossed in their conversations.

I could be wrong, but people, please make the restroom and no phone zone. Should I tell Oprah about this?

Reviving The Computer.

So last night almost had a meltdown. I was working on my computer editing some photos and a message pops up telling my the battery was ready to go so plug in the computer. So I did and kept working. On a side note, why does the computer wait until right before the battery goes dead to warn you? Shouldn’t it give you at least a ten minute warning? Hey, Microsoft, that would be a really novice idea don’t you think.

Anyway, back to last night. After I plugged in I noticed that the computer was still warning me. I went and checked the plug and even moved to a different plug. Then it happened. My computer went completely dead. No light on. Nothing. I could not figure out what happened. After awhile I came to the conclusion that my battery went kaput and I would have to get a new one. Since they are around $100 I was none to happy.

After the initial shock and a few choice words I decided just to get over it and proceed with my evening. I watched a little TV and then decided to go to bed. I unplugged the computer and took it in my room and just for the heck of it I plugged it in there. Holey moley, the light came on! My little red Dell is alive!!!

Well, now that I know the computer is ok, I go investigate the plugs in the living room. The second one I plugged into is ok because it is charging my cellphone. Corvette checks the first plug and it is working too. So it is still a mystery as to why the computer went completely dead and why the light did not come on when I plugged it in.

I can live with that because without my computer I will not be editing any more photos. Or writing this post.

Household Products and Food: Incredible Uses Part 3

Time for another installment in my series Household Products And Food you can use. The last two posts focused on Food You Can Use. This post will focus on household products and the many uses that you may not know about.

Here is part one of Food You Can Use.

Here is part two of Food You Can Use.

Cotton Balls

• Place cotton balls in the refrigerator to deodorize. After dampening with vanilla extract simply place on a shelf and enjoy the scent every time the door is opened.
• Puncture the fingertips of rubber gloves and place a cotton ball in each tip this will help prolong the gloves’ life and protect the tips from long, manicured nails.
• Cotton balls soaked in bleach and placed in hard to reach spots in the bathroom will help eliminate mildew.
• Protect small children’s fingers by padding drawers with cotton balls. This will keep the drawers from shutting completely and shutting on little fingers.
• Cotton balls can be scented with your favorite perfume or cologne and then put into a vacuum bag to scent the room as you vacuum.

Dryer Sheets

• After taking a car trip use a dampened dryer sheet to scrub bug splats off the car and windshield.
• Place a dryer sheet in the litter box to help cut down on odors. Also, wipe animals with a dryer sheet to freshen your pet’s coats.
• Dryer sheet will also remove pet hair from furniture.
• After soaking in warm water, clean the paint from paintbrushes with a dryer sheet.
• Keeping dryer sheets in the garage, basement, RVs and boats will repel rodents and other small animals such as squirrels and skunks.

Grocery Bags

• Place a grocery bag on the counter before peeling fruits and vegetables. Place peelings directly in the bag for easy disposal.
• Grocery bags placed in a diaper pail will help cut down on odors.
• Be green by taking grocery bags when shopping to reuse.
• Instead of buying expensive trash bags, reuse grocery bags in the garbage can.
• When shipping packages, stuff boxes with grocery bags instead of buying packing foam.

Nail Polish

• Putting nail polish on metal container bottoms to prevent rust rings on shelves.
• Paint clear nail polish on address labels to make them waterproof.
• Use nail polish to get rid of a wart. Use everyday for a week and the wart should be diminished or gone altogether.
• Glow in the dark nail polish can make things like remote control buttons easier to see in the dark.
• If you have an envelope that will not seal, use nail polish. People who do not like to lick envelopes should try nail polish.

Newspaper

• Use newspaper to clean up the ash residue after using the self-cleaning feature on your oven.
• Wrap tomatoes in newspaper to ripen.
• When traveling, if an ironing board is not available, put a small stack of newspaper in a pillow case and you have an impromptu ironing board.
• Storing newspapers with apparel or blankets will help keep moths away.
• Use newspaper as mulch in your garden. Newspaper will also help control weeds.

I certainly hope you found these tips useful. I know I learned a lot about other uses for household products. Please join me next Wednesday for the fourth and final installment in Household Products And Food You Can Use. I will cover more household products you can use.

Do not forget to enter my $25 Save-A-Lot gift card giveaway. The giveaway will end Friday May 14 at noon PST

Give Me Back My Crate!

The company that I work for just bought a professional scanner because, well we scan big documents. It is quite nifty and very fast. It arrived in a huge crate that is about 4′ long and about 3′ wide and probably 2′ tall.

As soon as I saw it, I knew I wanted it. Why? Because it would be perfect for a corn planter. That is me always thinking of ways to plant knew things?

Anyway, I went and asked the supervisor of the department if I could have it. He asked a couple of people and then came back and said I could have it. I was ecstatic to say the least. I went home and told Corvette and he was just as pleased. We were probably farmers in another life.

Everything was great and I was to bring it home on Thursday until I went on break and saw a sign on the door.

Buy Tickets For

Crate Raffle

WTF!!!!!!!! That baby is mine! I go and tell the receptionist that it was given to me yesterday. She says to talk to the office manager. He says people are fighting over it and this is the best way and get this no one else asked for it. Only me. Me. Me. Me.

So by now the whole office is starting to talk about The Crate. Some go and ask how many raffle tickets you can buy.(Just so you know, my friends did this in hopes of giving me The Crate.) Management decides that it would not be fair if someone bought fifty tickets and someone else could only buy one ticket. So on my last break I see this sign on the door.

Crate will be auctioned

Friday 11:oo

There was even talk of having everyone write an essay on what they plan to do with The Crate. Hmm, I think I would have an edge on that one. Don’t you think.

Anyway, I am still steaming. I will get over it, but it was mine dammit! Also, I do not know if I will participate in the auction. I can not see paying some crazy amount of money for something Corvette can build easily and rather inexpensively.

Plus, I can not bear to watch losing it to some one else.